And I get back up again. Who has Chumbawamba stuck in their head now? I do. I have had a hell of a time lately. And by lately I mean the last year. It’s really hard when you KNOW the things that will improve your mind set. Exercising, eating right, getting out of the house, showering, self love in general–all of these things help, and I know it. So why can’t I do anything? Why can’t I write here regularly when I know this outlet leads to clarity in my heart? I don’t know. But all I can do is keep getting back up. Every. Single. Time.
With that, I’m not going to make any grand promises to myself about posting regularly. But I’m hoping as I heal I will be here more often. Creating again, sharing again, being myself again. Giving myself some self love. For now, I have no shame in faking it until I make it. I will do my best to put a smile on my face each and every day not only for my daughter’s but also for my own sake. Hopefully sooner than later I will wake up and that smile won’t be fake. Until then, I’m holding on. It really is true that it doesn’t matter if you fall, what matters is how you get back up. And IF you get back up. Keep falling? Keep getting back up.
This has been an immensely humbling and incredibly exhausting year for me. That being said, I’m so grateful for my life and for my experiences in this life. I have much to be grateful for: I know who I am more than I ever have before. I’m confident in my mama skills like I’ve never been. I have the best non-judgey, real friends ever. And most important I know I can handle anything that is thrown at me.
As I’ve mentioned, we are preparing our house to sell right now and there is A LOT to do. If you’ve ever sold a house you know how much there is to do that you just didn’t notice. Over time you get blinders to those annoying little things that are a part of your home. Along with these little things we also just had a big monsoon which caused some roof problems. Agh! Part of why I’ve been MIA is because of the roof problems. Oh and there is also the pregnancy that is keeping me down low, and of course preparing this house to sell during the HOT Arizona summer…. Enough rambling and back to the reason for the blog post. I LOVE to DIY… or at least try my hand at it. That much should be obvious. So why would I NOT want to DIY something? There are a few good reasons not to DIY and here are some of the things that I am not going to be DIYing for the preparation of this house.
I have a long list of things that need to get done around here, including:
- Small plumbing, such as tightening some small leaks, etc.
- Filling screw holes
- Painting the stairways
- Filling the hole from the dog door to the patio
- Deep cleaning the carpet
- THE ROOF – ha!
- Re-carpeting the master bedroom
- Purging soooo much stuff
- Reorganizing furniture
What we will be DIYing:
- Getting rid of all the things
- Cleaning and cleaning some more
- Moving light furniture and styling with my realtor
- Brandon will be moving heavier pieces of furniture that we don’t want in the house during the sale process
- I’ve filled some of the screw holes already… I will get into that more in what I won’t be DIYing
What we will not be DIYing:
- Plumbing…. I have actually tackled some plumbing fixes before, but seeing as I’m pregnant I don’t think I’m gonna be getting on the ground for fear that I won’t be able to get up!
- Filling screw holes that require a step stool or ladder. Another thing that I could normally do, but I’m not stable to begin with and being pregnant I’m even less so
- Deep cleaning the carpets. Chemicals upon chemicals – no thanks
- Painting – I may actually do a few small areas that need touch up if they don’t require a step stool but if it does I’m out and for large surfaces I’m also out.
- Recarpeting is something that I’ve never tried so I’m not gonna try at this juncture.
- We are getting our roof fixed, yay!
Some of these things are hard for me to pay someone else to do when I know that usually I can tackle a lot of these things. I have had to take a deep breath and be ok with not being able to do it all. The stuff we are doing is already a lot! We are up to
seven nine SUV loads that we have brought to Goodwill! It’s amazing how much we have been able to get rid of. It has felt really good to unload a lot of stuff, and it’s even better seeing clear spaces in my home. I’ve been really grateful to have some amazing friends and family who have helped me out and I know that without their help (and some professionals in the near future!) I couldn’t do this. In the beginning I was thinking that I could do it all on my own. It only took me a minute to realize that was ludicrous. Don’t be too hard on yourselves and be honest when you can’t (or maybe even don’t want to) do it yourself.
How far along: 20 weeks
Gender guess: Boy is still my guess, girl is still Brandon’s guess… it’s not too long until we know!
How I’m feeling: It’s been getting harder and harder to get comfortable at night and thus I haven’t been sleeping much. I’m also super exhausted due to working on my home in preparations for putting it up for sale.
Highlight this week: The highlight of the week coincided with the worst day of the week, ha! Last Wednesday I was really ill and ended up going to see one of my midwives to ensure that the baby was ok and I was super stressed… but then after I got home from that he/she kicked! The baby has been kicking up a storm ever since. I’m loving those little kicks and it comforts me so much.
Miss anything: I miss being able to eat without everything sounding disgusting. I love me some food and lately I haven’t been enjoying eating at all.
Movement: As mentioned above, yes! I am so sooo excited for this.
Cravings: Nope. I have basically been forcing food down my throat for the baby but nothing sounds appetizing lately.
Looking forward to: The gender reveal!! It’s coming up quick and I’ve been working out the details of the whole party. I will put together some of the ideas I have and then I’m sure I will have a bunch of photos after the party!
What McKenna says about the baby: McKenna has been watching more TV lately than I would like to admit and her favorite is Doc McStuffins. Due to this she listens to your heartbeat every day and says that it sounds good!
Dear future baby,
It almost doesn’t seem real that we will have another little baby in our arms in just a few short months. We are so excited to meet you and to hold you in our arms. Your sister is beyond thrilled to have someone to help take care of.
Thank you for comforting me with your little baby kicks and letting me know that you are alright. I want to help you grow healthy and strong little one!
Love, your future Mama
My mom taught me from the very young age that happiness is a choice. This can be a little controversial considering depression doesn’t feel like a choice. I’m not going to get into that part of things. I believe that each individual has their own experiences. For me, I’ve had moments, days, and even years where I’ve struggled with depression. I’ve also had periods of time where I’ve maintained pretty well. On the whole, I am actually a very happy person. There are a lot of people that I interact with that have no clue that I have struggled with depression. It isn’t always an obvious thing that people put out there.
The main thing that I’ve learned through my experiences is that I cannot wait for someone else to “make” me happy. There have been some really tough times that I’ve pulled myself out of. I have tried many medications in different dosages trying to level things out. I have made some big life choices in some cases to increase my joy. These are dramatic changes but it’s really the small things that make the biggest difference. Waking up every day with a plan of action, and choosing to be happy. Sometimes shit happens, right? When it does, I turn it around by acting silly with my daughter, turning up the music, maybe getting a treat or taking a quick moment to meditate and remember what I’m grateful for.
If you want a reminder to choose happiness I made up a few printables that you can download below!
Click here to download
Click here to download
When I became a mother that got a lot harder. A LOT harder. If you’re a mom you know that we are always thinking about our kids. And what do we talk about? Our kids. It’s just a fact of life. These little people that we raise are so wonderful and important. We want to make sure that we are doing the best for them that we can. Which is why we talk. But unless we check ourselves it can turn into a very unhealthy thing.
I am so grateful to have close friends that are good about not comparing our children. Not to say that we don’t discuss them at length and ask for help when we need to. But we don’t compare one to another. They are each such amazing little human beings and they are also incredibly different. With different strengths, weaknesses and annoying habits ;-).
On that note, if you would like something to print out to remind yourself not to compare, I made this printable:
Click here to download
Then right click and save as to save to your computer.
I had forgotten how hard it was to get food inside me when I’m pregnant. Nothing sounds good to me most of the time. If I’m lucky enough to have a food sound appetizing you can probably bet that it’s not healthy for me. :-/ Because of this I’ve started looking on pinterest for pregnancy snacks. Generally “pregnancy snacks” mean something filled with protein or maybe other necessary nutrients. I found a few lists of snacks that I’m forcing myself to look over on a regular basis until I pass this stage of pregnancy. Here are some of the ones I’ve found:
I’m working on using every bit of food that we buy. When we don’t get to it, it goes into the freezer! There are a lot of ways to save food (meal form, puree’d, cooked, raw, etc) At some point I will organize a bunch of ways that I use our freezer to save money.
Along with the healthy snacks for me I need to entice McKenna to eat more healthily – a friend turned me onto these muffins that she calls “monster cupcakes” but really they are filled with spinach and banana (plus no frosting, mwa hahahaha)!
I saw a shirt that says “Napping for Two” and that is exactly what I’m doing (when I can). I have been sooo exhausted. Needless to say I’m back to following the advice I received when McKenna was a baby. If McKenna is sleeping, I’m sleeping.
I’m making one of my nieces a matching pink sparkly (of course) tutu and super hero cape for her birthday since those are her favorite toys when she comes to our house. Making a tutu is so easy! I’m making up how the cape will be but I plan on doing that as easily as possible but with a little flair.
I’m in the middle of working on my command center and laundry room. I am so excited to get both of these done because it will make life soooo much smoother. If paper and laundry take over we are all doomed. If I call for help it may be too late.
We have been so busy together lately! I’ve been focusing on counting with McKenna and made a cute toy to help that I’ll be sharing. I found this fun mermaid tail craft that I want to do with McKenna and the nieces that come over every week. We are also talking a lot about emotions ever since seeing Inside Out (we loved it!) and I’m hoping that I can help McKenna learn to express herself better and process her emotions. I found a few fun activities on Pinterest that I may share once we’ve tried them out.
I have to say that at this point in my life I am actually really happy! I have struggled with depression for most of my life and if I’m being completely honest it’s not always easy to stay happy. Maybe at some point I will talk about some of the things that have worked for me. But this post isn’t about that. Have you ever been in a situation where you were truly comfortable but maybe not happy? I have known SAHM’s who are at home with their kiddos but really don’t feel fulfilled by it. I know people who stay in positions at work where they make a lot of money but are absolutely miserable (golden handcuffs, anyone?). For me personally I’m sure I’ve had a few instances where I’ve been comfortable but not as happy as I could be. I don’t really stay in that position long. I’m actually not comfortable unless I am happy. It’s maybe even more than happy when I let loose of what isn’t bringing me joy and move into what does.
Feel free to download the above printable for your personal use by clicking on the image to make it full size and then click on “save image”
This quote has been in my mind for the past few months as I’ve started to think about getting this blog up and ready. Of course it still took me a long time to start hitting “publish” and to stop worrying, but I am enjoying it so immensely now!
Feel free to download the above printable for your personal use by clicking on the image to make it full size and then click on “save image”
I hope that whatever it is that you want to get started, that you take Walt Disney’s suggestion and “quit talking and begin DOING.”
Why yes, yes it actually is. A week ago I had a stretch where I hadn’t slept more than 4 hours broken over 5 nights. Two of the nights were because of my beautiful toddler who is having bad dreams, is hungwy, not sweepy, etc. One of the nights was due to nausea, and getting up to pee 6-7 times. But the other two happen more frequently. Those nights I just had insomnia. I’ve had insomnia for as far back as I can remember even as a small child.
I’m focusing now to try to get back into a good sleep rhythm because I know it won’t be good if I can’t sleep during the precious time available with a newborn. I have spent a lot of time working out ways to improve my sleep habits, here are a few:
- Exercise regularly (I’ve been doing yoga 4-5 times a week when I first get up before McKenna does).
- Drink water all day but stop a few hours before bed.
- Herbal options (in the past I’ve tried chelated magnesium, valerian root and melatonin).
- Hot herbal tea (peppermint is one of my favorites! Chamomile is also delightful).
- Stop screen time an hour (2 if possible) before bed time.
- Make sure my tummy is full (I swear this relates to more than just pregnant women but it’s especially important now because hunger wakes me up or keeps me awake right now).
- Warm bath.
- Wine (not right now!).
- Stretching before bed.
- Massage before bed (I’m a lucky girl because when I’m pregnant I get a massage almost every night!).
- Keep bed time and wake up time consistent.
- White noise or calm music helps me. We started using white noise through our daughter (we hear it through the monitor) and now I love it. Sometimes I will also listen to the best of Enya album which is nice because most of the words are unrecognizable.
- Every once in awhile I get up and go through my bedtime routine again. It’s basically a do-over.
- Flipping my head to the opposite end of the bed.
- Sleep mask! I just started using one and I love it.
- Herbal mist on sheets and blankets. The one I use right now is a blend of peppermint and lavender.
- If my mind is full I do a brain dump and this helps me to get out all of my thoughts on paper in order to leave my mind clear and ready for sleep. Sometimes I have to do this a few times to really get it empty lol.
There may be more that I haven’t tried or some that I’ve tried and forgotten but this is a list of my most common tactics to sleep better. A little over a week ago a friend gave me a suggestion that I had never heard before! She suggested that I get out as soon as I could in the morning to get some time in the sun. She recommended at least 10 minutes but to try 30 for best results. The idea is that it reminds your body when daytime is and it should help your body also realize when it is nighttime. I’ve been doing this now for a week and it has made a huge difference! In fact, I had a day in the middle that I missed and that night took me 4x longer to get to sleep. I’m still having some other sleep issues (active dreams, wake ups, etc) but getting to sleep is usually the hardest part for me.
Have you ever used the Paprika app? No clue what it is? Well, you’re in luck! This is one of my favorite ever apps, and that’s saying a lot considering it means I have to cook. I will never say that meal planning is my favorite thing to do… it ranks pretty low on my excitement range BUT this app has made my life a whole lot easier so I don’t dread it nearly as much. That earns an A+ in my book.
First things first, this is not a sponsored post. I just really love it. Second, I’m going to break my review into a few pieces because otherwise this would get pretty lengthy. Here is what I’m going to talk about in this post and upcoming posts (in no particular order):
- How to add a recipe to the Paprika app
- How to organize recipes in Paprika app – including categorization
- How to utilize the grocery list aspect of the Paprika app
- How to meal plan within the Paprika app
- Misc features of the Paprika app (if I can fit them into the previous four posts I will)
First up I am going to talk about the most important (IMO) part of this app, which is how to add a recipe within the Paprika app.
If you look along the left hand side of the app you will see 4 icons near the middle – those are the hub of the app. The little world that is highlighted in blue stands for Browser. This is where you can do a search (just like on a search engine) for a particular food or type of recipe. You can also copy a URL (the full website address) of a recipe that you know you already want to add to your Recipes.
The recipe you see listed is one that I got from a mini meal plan from Once A Month Meals. I will be reviewing them after I have a chance to use that meal plan.
I simply copied the URL from the browser page I had open and then upon entering my Paprika app it tells me that it has detected a URL. Once I hit load it brings up the same browser page but inside the app.
Now here is the fun part… Once you have the page loaded you should see an area at the bottom where it shows some components of the recipes and a blue Save Recipe button. This is the magical part. On most recipe sites people have their recipes formatted so that Paprika knows what is what. (Name of recipe, Ingredients, etc). Once I click on Save Recipe this comes up:
I could just click on the blue Create Recipe button and it will add it to my recipes. At this point I like to customize things a bit by adding in some Categories which makes it easier to find the type of recipe I want right away (right under the Create Recipe button in the upper right). I will talk more about categorization next time!
If you have any questions let me know!