And I get back up again. Who has Chumbawamba stuck in their head now? I do. I have had a hell of a time lately. And by lately I mean the last year. It’s really hard when you KNOW the things that will improve your mind set. Exercising, eating right, getting out of the house, showering, self love in general–all of these things help, and I know it. So why can’t I do anything? Why can’t I write here regularly when I know this outlet leads to clarity in my heart? I don’t know. But all I can do is keep getting back up. Every. Single. Time.
With that, I’m not going to make any grand promises to myself about posting regularly. But I’m hoping as I heal I will be here more often. Creating again, sharing again, being myself again. Giving myself some self love. For now, I have no shame in faking it until I make it. I will do my best to put a smile on my face each and every day not only for my daughter’s but also for my own sake. Hopefully sooner than later I will wake up and that smile won’t be fake. Until then, I’m holding on. It really is true that it doesn’t matter if you fall, what matters is how you get back up. And IF you get back up. Keep falling? Keep getting back up.
This has been an immensely humbling and incredibly exhausting year for me. That being said, I’m so grateful for my life and for my experiences in this life. I have much to be grateful for: I know who I am more than I ever have before. I’m confident in my mama skills like I’ve never been. I have the best non-judgey, real friends ever. And most important I know I can handle anything that is thrown at me.